October 11th, our 45th wedding anniversary.

Such a long time for a couple to be together.  Hard to find these days.

This world of ours is so full of things and temptations to make ourselves “be happy”, that sometimes we just throw away what we have, including relationships.

Marriage now days doesn’t carry the importance it should, couples do not try hard enough to keep the commitment made to one another.  Divorce is easy.  Get rid of the one you have and just pick up with another.

Our marriage has been so difficult over the years, neglect, going from having, to being dead broke, and now my husband’s illness.

The love we both have for our only child, our son, played a role, but we never ever through all the horrible and sad times mentioned the word “divorce”.

I love my husband more now than ever, he has always been there for me, even when I surprised and disappointed him with my actions.

We have peace together now, honesty, and joy, I finally realize I can tell him anything, without fearing his rejection.

My husband’s health is deteriorating everyday, but I will be there for him.

If you are fortunate enough to be married, or in a loving relationship, don’t throw it away, work on it, be with the one you love and the one who loves you, you will not regret it.

To have a happy life most of us need that special someone to love and care for!

I am so thankful to God for my husband, of 45 years, Jim.

Blessings to all of you and your love ones.

Joy is the thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of our hearts that erupts when we are put in touch with what really matters,

-Margaret Langstaff

Years ago the ladies in my neighborhood played a silly dice game once a month, “Bunko”.

It was not about the silly game, but it gave us a reason to just get together for some laughter, food, and drinks.

We all made a big deal when it was our month to be the hostess.  Cleaning, so everything was spotless, deciding on which recipes to make for snacks, and the evening ending dessert.

This could be so stressful, wanting everything to be perfect hoping to get approval and compliments.

Why do women do this to themselves?

A fun time turns into a nightmare!  Instead of looking forward to your turn to be hostess you are just happy when the whole thing is over!

When we arrived at Beth’s home, her turn to be hostess, we all saw a less than perfect home, a little dust, and a little clutter.  Wow!  Not what we were all used to seeing!  Judging eyes looking all around.

To this day I remember what Beth said to all of us, “my baby girl wanted to play all day, she was so happy to spend time with me that I neglected a few things, I know you all understand”.

Did we?

I do now!

Spending time with your children, those happy faces, those joyful moments, far more important than having a perfectly clean home to impress others.

I am still trying to be more like “Beth”, choosing the important, loving, things in life.

XO

This morning was cold and rainy.

I made a steaming cup of coffee, found a pair of warm socks, and I moved to a comfortable spot in my favorite chair.

Wrapped myself in a warm, soft throw, remembering that it was a gift from my sweet niece last winter, as I placed it across my legs.

Kitty climbed up and joined me, rolling herself in a ball on my lap.

I opened my book and settled in …… just “joyful simplicities”.

These are the things I want my life filled up with …… how about you?

Stay warm, enjoy the simple things.

Forgiving yourself for past mistakes and the hurt these mistakes have not only caused you,  but those you love so much is not only difficult, but heartbreaking.

When starting these writings, about setting my life on the track to “loving this new simple life” of mine, I knew I needed to share personal feelings, which I have tried to do.

Over the years, I have done so many things I am ashamed of, I can hardly believe that my life was so dysfunctional that they happened.

Many would not have happened if I would have been able to be honest and able to reach out to my husband and those who loved me!

This has been one of my downfalls all of my life.  Being honest with people letting them know that I was in trouble.  Ashamed that they would hate me and turn away.  They did not, they stayed, at least the ones that matter.

Forgiving yourself does not mean that you ever forget, but necessary to move on in life.

God has forgiven me, so now I still work on forgiving myself.

Please forgive those mistakes today that are holding you back from “loving your life”.

Love ya!

One of the most hurtful things in my life has been words, especially words about my weight.

It wasn’t until after my son was born that I started to gain weight.

Changes in life style, going from working on the outside, to staying home caring for a baby was the beginning of my struggle.  Gaining extra pounds every year from that point.

All of my life it did seem that the only attention I received was because I had dimples, and was cute.

I remember once during a job interview for a part time office job, the owner interviewed me and in my full view he wrote across my application “Cute as Hell”.  Nothing like, well qualified, great experience, no he wrote “Cute as Hell”.

Loved my grandma so very much but one day after not seeing her for a while she said to me “what happened to you”, referring to my weight gain.  I know she did not want to hurt me, but she did.

An uncle, at a family gathering, got me off to the side and told me “try not to gain any more weight”.  What!  Did he get everyone in the family who had gained weight off to the side and say this to them?

My weight is an issue, ups and downs.  Believe me I know that people are treated differently when they are thin, I have been there!

To be happy for the rest of my life I have decided the weight I want to maintain.  Being “Cute as Hell” is not a priority at my age, but instead, having a comfortable weight, being healthy, for a good quality of life is the place I want to be.

Seriously everyone, watch your words!

Hurtful words are carried with people for all of their lives.

Find the place you want to be in all areas of your life and be happy.

I am attaching a song, thanks to Myquillyn, the “31 Days” writing challenge hostess, for introducing this song to me.

In my “31 Days” of writings on kinda “remaking of my life”, loving your home or the place that you call home is so important.

Visiting one of my favorite stores last week I struggled with buying a sweet, simple, canvas sign.

Take a deep breath,

your are home now!

I can still remember coming home from school to a clean house with my Mom usually ironing.  Our lives were far from perfect, but I always knew my Mom loved me, and I was safe at home with her.

My dreams over the years of having a larger more expensive house are gone.  The one I have with all its flaws is my “home”.  I have learned to love this simple place filled with cherished things and memories.

I am working on removing unnecessary things, all the clutter here and there.  Simplicity helps us to eliminate excess.

Simplicity doesn’t mean doing without, but I am finding that less, keeping only the special things that you so love, has a way of taking away stress and brings order to life.

Peace, safety, joy, love, and contentment, that is the “home” I want for me and my family.

Oh, I did buy that little sign!  I plan on hanging it near my front door so when we step inside we can take that deep breath, knowing we are “home”.

Blessings.

Love the special place you call “home”.

When I started to put this life of mine on the road to loving it, I had this longing to take some special time everyday to do the simple things I enjoy or always wanted to do.

Over the years raising my son, money worries, keeping my marriage going, trying to keep my house in order, my job, meetings, traveling, I was always exhausted. I had no time for anything else. Just go to bed for that much needed rest, only to toss and turn again from the worry.

I went back down in my basement to my small, messy at times, workplace with all my paints, papers, ribbons, all these colorful things that make me happy.  I began to be creative again.

Most of my life I had worked on craft things trying to make extra money, mass producing things to sell at fairs.  Again, adding stress, late nights, little sleep, to get all completed for the next exhibit.  This was all about making money not being creative.

Began enjoying music more. Nothing more relaxing than putting on headphones or earplugs when you are working, walking, or just taking quiet time.

I started reading, something I never had time to do in my life before. Reading for me now is part of living.

Gardening, and working outside in the yard is one of the most peaceful times for me.  This past spring and summer gave me days of joy just watching all my plants grow and flourish, just like I see my life now.

Although I am on the last part of living this life of mine I plan to enjoy it, doing things that give me joy and trying to learn new things, like my blog and this writing challenge, loving all until the last.

Please never forget to enjoy things you love to do, let the other things go, believe me most things can wait.

Blessings.

Day 3 – Happiness Comes From Gratitude and Appreciation

Yesterday I wrote about the importance of self worth and having faith. Today I want to cover being grateful and appreciating all that we have in life.

I really believe that if you want to love your life, you need to be grateful and appreciate all that you have. It is critical to changing and setting yourself on a path for real happiness.  Until I realized this, and started to practice this, there was very little peace and joy from day to day.

For years my life was always wanting. Wanting more, wanting what everyone else had. Living this way brings nothing to you but constant discontentment.

 “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.

If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”

– Oprah Winfrey

“Things” never in the end made me happy.

We all want nice things, I still do, but I have learned to look at that thing I want and decide, do I really need this?

Wanting everything only led me to a life of overspending and credit card debt, not happiness.

I have learned to be grateful for the simplest things in life.

Gratitude has turned what I have into enough!

As an example, I have learned to be grateful and love my simple home and appreciate all the happiness it brings.

Having a clean, warm bed to crawl into on one of the cold, frigid, snowy nights we had so many times last winter. To wake up and have that wonderful cup of coffee, to have water for a hot bath, and even to have a bar of soap and towel.

We all know so many folks do not have these things, or will never have these comforts we take for granted in life.

This way of thinking does not happen overnight, it takes practice.

I read Ann Voskamp’s book, “One Thousand Gifts”, and started my 1000 gifts journal.

Oh how this practice opens your eyes to all the smallest gifts in life.

Hope all of you take this important step of gratitude and appreciation to bring you to a place of “Loving Your Simple Life”.

Please try it!

Blessings and love to all!

Remember to click on “31 Days” on my menu bar for all posts on “Loving My New Simple Life”.

When the day arrived that I knew my life had to change, to get off the roller coaster, with more downs than ups, I knew I had to look back.

Why and how did I become this insecure, stressed out, frightened person, not knowing where or who to turn to for help.

So I tried to remember the beginnings.

Looking back now I can see these beginnings of why this so shy, so sad little girl in the photo turned into a so sad adult.

During my grade school age, I remember spending many days alone in our basement, no friends. Even now I do not have any long time friends, only the occasional friends that step into our lives at any given time.

Early on I was never encouraged to be more, or that I could be more, or that I could be successful at something in life. Not one word spoken to me by my parents or not one single teacher.

Sure I admit I was not good at math, or many other subjects in school, but didn’t anyone see that I was creative, loved drawing, coloring, painting? Guess not!

The only words I remember were the ones spoken that let me know I wasn’t as smart as my sister, or as talented as my brother. My father’s words of encouragement were, “learn to type”.

Why was I always afraid to speak up, even to my parents, to talk out a problem or something that was bothering me? Why didn’t my mom or dad see what I needed?

I had the most loving mother, not educated, growing up in a coal mining area, and in many ways she too struggled to be more, backward in her ways with people. It wasn’t until my parents divorced, that my mother was forced to step out into the world and eventually she blossomed and experienced happiness in the last part of her life.

My father, who was an alcoholic, lost his way as the family caregiver and provider.  We lost our home, and we all suffered.

It wasn’t until I was 50 years old that I started to change in ways that have helped me find the joys of life I experience today.  Two special people entered my life.

A boss who showed me what faith in God had done for him, changed him. I saw the success, the confidence, the happiness he had even though he came from a poor rural area of Alabama.

I started to build my faith, to have a personal relationship with God. Our Lord is not the way I was taught in Catholic school. terrifying, judgmental, sending me to hell with one wrong doing. My God loves me, no matter what!

The second person was a young, bright, beautiful woman who came to me and ask me to help her. She had just been given a high profile job in the company we worked, and she needed an assistant. She wanted me. “Why me” I asked, not believing I could be the someone she needed. Tammy answered, “you have the knowledge, you know this area like no one else”.

Wow!

Thanks to Tammy, for slapping me across the face with this new position, I realized I do have so much to offer.  I am not a failure.

We worked together for years, building and accomplishing many things together for our company.  She always encouraged me, forced me to step out of my comfort zone, and when she left the company, guess who was given her position? That’s right, “Me”.

In closing this post, let me say that knowing your worth is one of the most important things you can do for yourself to “Love Your Life”.

If you have children, remember to always encourage them, talk to them, look for signs of trouble in their lives, so that you can help them.

Build your faith, start a relationship with God. He is so loving, whisper His name when you are sad or having problems, He will be there for you, and change your life.

Love to all of you!

Hope you will stop by tomorrow for Day 3 of my 31 days of writing about what “Loving My New Simple Life” is all about.